Quick, to the slutcave!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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