Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
