? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize