Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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