so let's talk penis.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
