so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
