Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
