i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
