he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I will be naked everywhere
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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