lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize