Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
