if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
