You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize