Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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