I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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