It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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