he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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