When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
How's work?
Spinning.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
