Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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