How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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