I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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