Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
