did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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