I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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