is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize