I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
