hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize