I am spending my child support on dildos
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
