I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize