i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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