Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
