Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
