We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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