He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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