Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
