i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My life is pants optional.
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