There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
