whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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