Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
