just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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