White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
