I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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