laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
