Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Acid is not a monday night drug
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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