I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
