Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
