Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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