I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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