Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There's even glitter on my cock...
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