tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
