We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
