I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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