i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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