Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
