the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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