That's intense
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
