is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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