Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
