dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
