We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
