Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
